Worst professional tips ever

Caring For Baby

We're so glad this guide is here. It's going to save a lot of people from the embarrassment of bringing their baby to the gym. That's good news because they seem like they would really hog the machines.

Success With Women

Thanks, we'll have to give that a try. That's the last time we try to watch Beauty and the Beast for dating advice.

Carry More Things

This pro tip is hilarious because it is 100% fact. Sometimes you just can't handle more talk around the water cooler.

A Potato in Every Purse

See, this is why we'd rather not buy new shoes. Because if we're going to wear them like pros, we'd have to carry around a small bag of potatoes.

Punch 'Em

How do you defend yourself from an attacker? Gain their trust, engage them in conversation and then follow this handy tip.

Perfect Insulation

Ah, nothing says "I'm an adult" like the smell of Play-Doh in your home. It clearly looks attractive too, especially when it's two different colors. We're pretty sure this stuff isn't waterproof either. Next time you're thinking of taking a trip to Home Depot, save yourself the trip and just get off the highway at the nearest toy store. Well, that is, if you don't already have this stuff lying around.

Eggcup Lids

This is one of those moments where a million thoughts run through your head. The first being "true love does exist" and most of the others being something along the lines of "ew."

Jigsaw Shredder

What's going on here? Who is this tip helping? Seriously, ain't nobody got time for that!

Classy and Effective

This must come in the most handy when you're trying to type something quickly. It's not like q-tips bend easily or anything. Oh, unfortunately, it just might not work on touchscreens. Looks like the Blackberry owners finally have the upper hand with this "q-tip" (lolz, see what we did there?)

A Swifter Sweeper

Those store-bought sweepers are so expensive. You can only clean like two rooms with every cloth and that totally adds up. If only there were a better way!

The Car Symbol

Think of it like the bat symbol for Batman. It's just that instead of a cool spotlight, it's a helium-filled balloon you probably borrowed from your first grader.

Place Mats and Plastic

We must be looking at this wrong or something because we can't make any sense of it. We sure hope that "put a lid on it" is not becoming the new "put a bird on it" because we can't deal with this trend. We call this "hoarder chic."

For a Manly, White Smile

You know those Colgate commercials where everyone looks like they're posing for an editorial shoot? No truly manly man could relate to that. This isn't madness, this is teeth brushing!

Funky Underwear

Congratulations, you either have boring taste or have held onto your bra for so long it's too disgusting to look at anymore. Along with the dingy color, there are probably holes and we're sure it doesn't support like it's supposed to. Don't throw it away though. Don't ever throw it away.

How about no? Is that an option here? If your bra has gotten ugly and grey, get a new one.

What Started It All

The tip that started it all was this brilliant bit of advice. It came from a guide to the 1993 classic game Doom.